


Like a Book

by mrstaemin (TheTroninator)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Mind Reading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-01-08 10:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1131377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTroninator/pseuds/mrstaemin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael is a mind reader. He knows what people's darkest thoughts are, he knows their intentions and he doesn't like what he sees. He wants to love, but he doesn't think he ever can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

As soon as Michael pushed the door to the crowded bar open, he regretted his decision to leave home that night. All his friends kept badgering him, though, to the point that he figured it would be just as well to appease them by going out, rather than stay at home and drink in solitude. All the noise layered on top of the voices on top of the loud thrumming clatter and clutter of everyone’s minds. 

See, Michael had a problem with people.

As he settled into a seat behind the counter, the bar tender cast him a look and went back to mixing drinks and hitting on young girls. It didn’t take long for Michael to realize he wouldn’t be served for a while. In fact, it took one look at the bartender to know. So he waited as patiently as he could stand, hoping that a drink would enter his hand before his friends would show up. Geoff and Ray would be there soon and Michael had no interest in experiencing them sober. He liked them well enough, but they were so busy with their thoughts, even Ray, who wouldn’t partake of alcohol.

Michael checked his watch and gave the bartender a testy expression. The man behind the counter rolled his eyes and approached Michael. Michael grimaced, expecting a horrible nick name to come out of the man’s mouth.

“Hey, curly q,” the man said. It sounded even worse out loud. 

Michael gritted his teeth and ordered a fairly strong drink. He downed it as soon as the bartender slid it towards him and he quickly requested another before the man could walk away. 

He felt himself becoming warmer and his brain slowing down. Michael allowed himself to open up to the idea of actually having fun with his friends. He overheard something near the door and looked up to see his friends strolling in together as he anticipated. 

Geoff made quick eye contact with him and seated himself next to him at the bar and Ray followed close behind.

“Hey asshole,” Michael said, before Geoff could spout off his complaint about how Michael had started drinking without him. “I’m sorry I’m already working my way drunk. You know how these things can be.”

“I hear you man,” Ray pseudo-empathized. 

“F- you, man,” Michael snapped back, a smile etching it’s way over his temperamental lips. 

Ray apologized wordlessly, acknowledging that he did not, in fact, have any idea what it was like to live inside Michael’s inundated head.

Geoff thought about how he hoped Michael would loosen up a bit and have fun while Ray contemplated what it would be like if he did decide to drink with Michael. 

Michael groaned. “Guys, I’ll be fine tonight. You don’t need to get stupid drunk with me. Actually, that might just make it worse.” 

“I still don’t believe it sometimes,” Geoff mused. “I mean, like, who would’ve thought that some guy I met playing video games online…”

Geoff didn’t need to finish his sentence before Michael cut him off. “Don’t bitch about me whooping your ass online; you know that I have no advantage there.” 

“Hey, slow down asshole, not all of us can read minds here,” Ray reminded him bitterly. 

Michael took a deep breath and tried to block it out. He had a nasty habit of cutting people off because he knew what they were going to say before they said it. It didn’t help, though. He never could control it really. No matter what, he couldn’t lessen the noise. He could delve deeper into people’s minds, into what bordered on the subconscious, but he could never pull out of everyone’s brains completely. Take restaurant noise and double it. Triple it. All those unsaid feelings and all those twisted and incoherent thoughts that would occupy a room occupied Michael’s brain and he couldn’t shut it off. Getting drunk could soften it, turn it down a few notches. It made it easier to dial in on the actual words coming out of a person’s mouth instead of juggling all of their mental baggage too. So as Michael exhaled, he raised his glass to his lips and took a long swig.

“What does it take to get a drink around here?” Geoff complained.

“Patience,” Michael replied, lowering his glass.

“F- that,” Geoff griped. “Hey, bartender!”

“His name is Fred,” Michael informed him, taking another drink.

“Fred!” Geoff shouted.

The bartender turned around. “How’d you know my name?” 

Geoff exchanged a glance with Michael. _I thought he would have a damn nametag,_ he hissed. He turned back to Fred. “Lucky guess?”

“Well, what do you and your boyfriend want?” Fred asked grouchily. He had blondes at the other end of the bar waiting. 

“I’m not—I, uh… F- it,” Ray stuttered. 

“My boyfriend will have a diet coke and I will have whatever my friend Michael here is having!” Geoff told the guy. 

Ray groaned. “Why’d you tell him I was your boyfriend?” 

“Don’t sweat it,” Michael told him. “He knew Geoff was joking.” Michael leaned back in his seat as he finished off his second drink. He was beginning to feel himself slipping into a numbed state. He now needed to decide if he wanted to get utterly hammered or not. 

Michael quietly picked Geoff’s mind as he considered his options. Geoff was thinking of getting drunk but also needing to get Ray home since Ray didn’t drive. He contemplated the cost of a cab and how upset his wife would be if he had to leave the car outside of the bar. Then he just started thinking about his wife. He started to think about her hair and how he wished it would grow out a little bit faster because he preferred it a bit longer but he would never tell her because he likes her to feel independent and creative. He bitterly griped to himself about how she made him grow out a silly moustache. Then he began thinking about if he ever left his wife for a woman who likes scruffy guys with nondescript facial hair. He quickly reprimanded himself, though. 

Michael was glad that Geoff was a relatively decent guy. He’d read thoughts much more adulterous. 

Most people only see the highlight reel of someone’s life. You rarely get to see the nitty-gritty, dark room, scary thoughts that people have. The question is whether or not you can still like someone when you get to know all the bad stuff—the bloopers, the sins, the heartache. Michael got the heavy thunderstorm of humiliation and shame upon meeting a person only once or twice. The selfish, impure thoughts surface and he has to decide if they will turn him off, or if the under the cover, deep, personal, beautiful thoughts and secrets will endear someone to him all the more. It’s different for everyone. Geoff and Ray were both good enough that Michael could accept the stray evil thoughts that may lurk in their minds. 

But he didn’t love them. Michael had never loved someone before, he didn’t think. He knew of enough of the darkness in everyone that he never felt like he could make any sacrifices for them. To someone like Michael, who could see the black in people’s souls, people seemed to deserve whatever was coming to them, regardless of religion or creed or what morality they might have possessed. Love is based on holding someone as more esteemed than yourself. Michael found no one to be more scrupulous than him, and only a very few people to be less so. 

Michael soon found another drink in his hand, having decided to throw his cares away and get really, stupidly, drunk. 

Soon the thoughts in the bar dulled to a hum and Michael could almost relax. 

Geoff and Ray got to talking about some new video game coming out and Michael listened to the words coming out of their mouths, doing his best to ignore the commentary that Ray offered in his mind. Michael ultimately failed, hearing, _Geoff is so f-ing weird. Peggle is a f-ing mobile app. Who gives a shit?_ “I think it looks really cool,” Ray lied. 

Michael rolled his eyes. “Ray thinks Peggle is shit,” Michael informed Geoff lazily. “Cut the bullshit, Ray. Have a damn spine.” 

Ray huffed. _Michael, you’re an asshole._

“I know, Ray,” Michael murmured, laying his head down on the bar. “I’m an asshole. Everybody’s a dumb stupid asshole and I can’t stand it.”

Geoff gave Ray a look that Michael could hear. _He’s in one of those moods._

_He’s such a damn killjoy._

“F- it,” Michael cursed. “You’re right. I’m depressed and I hate it. But you have no clue how hard it is to tolerate how f-ing shitty the world is. Nobody is genuine and nobody does anything for the right reason. You can’t trust anyone.”

“You can trust us?” Geoff said, an air of uncertainty to it. Michael could tell that he really wanted to mean it.

“As far as people go, you are amongst the least shitty,” Michael told them. “I really mean it.” 

He perked up a little bit, sensing Geoff and Ray’s relief at his saying that. He even caught Geoff expressing love to him, but his thoughts were cut off by cursing himself for being so sentimental. Ray was engrossed in trying to imagine reading people’s minds, settling into an understanding that he would never understand. 

“Fred!” Michael called to the bartender, ordering one more drink. He finished it up before deciding to walk home. Geoff and Ray followed him out, agreeing to play online later and giving Michael brief hugs. 

As Michael trudged home, in the dark and alone, he contemplated what it would be like if he did really love someone. People fall in love all the time, but for him it seemed impossible. He would need to find someone at peace with themselves. An open book and a carefree spirit. He would need to meet someone with good intentions, or maybe even someone with no intentions. Maybe even someone whose brain made no sense—an indecipherable soul with a lot of ambition. Someone who just wanted to go go go and who thought a lot less than other people. Michael shook all of this off as just a pipe dream, though. People are never as they seem. He learned that a long time ago.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael encounters a guy in the grocery store and craves his mind.

_Bloody bodge bangers and mash!_ Michael heard over the usual hum of thoughts as he selected some pop tarts to put into his cart. He had heard people curse to themselves before, but never like that, and for some reason, it caused him to giggle. 

As the junk food breakfast pastries hit the cart with a clang, a young man rounded the corner of the aisle, carrying a basket and knocking it into a stack of cereal boxes. _Bitch blood--fu-dgey the whale_ , he swore. Seriously, who censors their internal monologue? Michael suppressed his chuckles as the guy walked past him. 

His name was Gavin, he was twenty five and he worked on films doing slow motion work. He was out shopping because he was out of milk, bread, and eggs, but because he had never shopped at this particular grocery store, he didn’t know where those particular items were. Michael learned all of this fairly quickly as the guy left his vicinity. Michael was half tempted to help him around the store, but decided against it, opting to let the moment pass… Until he heard Gavin go over plans in his head to go to the movies that night and watch the—was it seven or eight o’clock—eight o’clock showing of the new Marvel super hero movie. 

Gavin made some remark to himself that he felt like a minge going alone, but that if he was going to get to see it at all he would have to go by himself because his best friend was off in some army. Michael felt even sorrier for the guy, but in order to keep an air of normalcy about him, he couldn’t strike up a conversation about their mutual interest in super hero movies and offer to go with him based on the guy’s thoughts. However, if he just concentrated, he could determine what movie theater he was going to be at when eight o’clock rolled around and ask permission to sit next to him so he wouldn’t have to look like a loser at the theater. And it was done. Michael knew about the guy’s plans for the rest of that entire day. 

Michael felt stupid. He would never go out of his way for someone like that normally. He usually tried to keep out of people’s minds like that. But it was too late, he had the information. He cursed to himself, uncensored, reminding himself that people are selfish and immoral and typically very bad. This guy “Gavin” in the minute it took him to go down his grocery store aisle had done nothing to prove himself to be any more worthwhile than any other person. Michael then leveled with himself. He knew why he wanted to go with Gavin to the movies. It wasn’t for the other guy’s sake, per se. It was because he was attractive. 

Michael finished grocery shopping and went home, beating himself up over being so childish and borderline creepy, but as much as he lamented it, he couldn’t get Gavin out of his head. 

_I’ll put my thoughts to rest,_ Michael thought. _I’ll go to the damn movie and while I’m sitting there next to him, all his dark, dirty thoughts will ruin him for me and I’ll never think of him again._

Michael felt fairly satisfied with that solution, so he put on his best hoodie and his torn up jeans and drove himself to the movie theater and bought himself a ticket for the eight o’clock showing. 

Now here was the dilemma, if Gavin had not already entered the theater where the movie would be playing, then Michael would have no guarantee of sitting next to the guy, or at the very least would look creepy when he got up to move next to him. 

Therefore he probed the recent memory of the guy selling him his ticket and determined that he had not seen Gavin in the past half hour. The movie was scheduled to start in only a few minutes, so Gavin must have been pushing it. Maybe he changed his mind and decided that he didn’t want to come see the movie after all? Michael had a brief panic. 

He sat himself down in the arcade area on one of those motorcycle games and waited, his eyes toward the screen, racing lazily and listening to the thoughts behind him. 

A kid sidled up beside him and watched him fall further and further behind the AI racers. Her thoughts were shallow and easy to tune out. 

_Ooh, just in bloody time! I hope that there’s still good seating, but of course, I’m alone so it doesn’t matter too much, eh, Gavvy?_

Michael sat up, glancing to the kid watching him race beside him. “Wanna take over kid?” Michael asked, standing up and turning around. 

The kid hopped on the bike seat without much contemplation. She’d not moved far from where Michael left off by the time Michael spotted his lanky, and probably British target.

He was exchanging a wadded up bunch of cash to the guy who Michael had bought his ticket from. Michael could hear him muttering apologies in his mind from his position just behind the racing game. He plodded off in the direction of concessions and Michael could make out his thoughts above the crowd deciding against a large popcorn bucket. 

Fiscally responsible, huh? Michael’s interest was tantamount to the interest that a mountain climber might have for Everest. After having purchased a tub of popcorn to share with this Gavin guy, Michael hurried off in the direction of theater eleven to hopefully enjoy his movie. 

_I’m so creepy, I’m so creepy_ , Michael thought as he scanned the somewhat crowed theater for his place to sit. A little above halfway up the rows of seats, Michael spotted him, silencing his cell phone. Unfortunately, he also spotted Geoff and Ray along with a few other friends of theirs. He had made eye contact for too long to not wave and acknowledge them. 

_Why does nothing ever go my way?_ Michael moaned as he dragged himself up the stairs to sit next to Ray. 

“Why the long face, buddy?” Ray asked, elbowing him.

Michael shrugged noncommittally. 

Ray sighed. “No fair. You get to pretend you have no clue what’s bothering me when I’m in a bad mood. Meanwhile, I’m f-ing genuinely interested in the inner workings of your damn brain and you won’t even give me a f-ing clue?” 

“Okay, okay, God. Look down there? To that guy sitting alone?” Michael whispered.

“Did he steal your wallet or something?”

“No, you moron. I wanted to sit next to him.”

“Oh…” Ray processed what Michael was saying. _So he’s hot for that guy or something? Like how does he even know him? Shouldn’t he be glad to sit next to people he actually knows?_

Michael laughed in spite of himself. “Okay, Ray, you know I know what you’re thinking. I don’t know him, I’m not hot for him, and I wanted to sit next to him so I could read his mind during the movie instead of someone else’s.”

“Why?” 

“It’s a f-ing creepy ass story and I’d rather not let you know how f-ing deranged I am.” 

“You know how deranged I am and yet we’re still friends,” Ray pointed out.

“Fine. I saw him at the grocery store earlier today and…” Just then the theater lights lowered and the previews started. Someone behind them shushed them.

Michael turned around to the woman with the finger pressed against her lips. Michael could see that she didn’t care about the previews but relished in being a theater nazi, shushing people and asserting herself over them. 

“It’s the f-ing previews,” Michael hissed at her. “Like anyone really gives a shit.” He turned back to Ray, ignoring the incoherent stream of hateful thoughts spewing from the woman’s mind behind him. “Like I was saying, I saw him at the grocery store and he seemed really pathetic and then he started thinking about how he was going to the movies alone tonight and I figured if I happened to show up at the same theater at the same time I could sit next to the guy.” 

“And share that giant-ass popcorn?” Ray asked, hopefully. Michael could feel him eyeing the bucket the whole time. 

“Go for it,” Michael allowed, knowing what Ray was really getting at. 

“Hey, Michael, am I hearing what I think I’m hearing?” Geoff asked, leaning forward past Ray. “Cuz if so, that’s both creepy and gay as dicks.” 

“F-ing… Look, I just wanted to read his mind some more. He’s f-ing hilarious,” Michael defended, blushing a wild crimson. Luckily the theater lights were low enough that no one would notice. 

“I knew there’s no way you’d come to a movie under any regular circumstances,” Ray went on. _All the thoughts drown out the movie. He’s said it a thousand times. I hope he’s not upset we didn’t invite him. You’re not upset right? We just know you don’t like movies._

“Still could have f-ing asked,” Michael said.

“So we could hear the lecture again about how crowds make you sick?” Ray asked. _Okay, I feel a little bad now. We should’ve invited him._

Michael gave ray a pat on the shoulder to say it was alright, he even rested his head on his shoulder as the movie started. Michael felt a little weary by the end of it. The loud speakers and the loud thoughts. Half the theater had contemplated banging the entire cast of the movie by the time the film ended and Michael was tired from all the sexual thoughts. 

“Hey, I’m sorry we ruined your night,” Geoff apologized. 

_If only we could read minds like you._ Ray thought. _JK. I don’t want that power._

Michael simply shrugged and gave his two better friends quick hugs and exchanged goodbyes with the other two guys with them, Jack and Ryan. 

As soon as they were out of sight, he bounded toward the silly made up words, focusing on his distinct thought-voice out of the crowd’s.

Then he spotted the guy, headed out the back door of the movie theater. He had to keep himself from jogging as he weaved through the after-movie crowd. He wracked his brain for something to say if he managed to catch him. Something that didn’t make him seem like a stalker. 

_Let it go,_ Michael scolded himself. _You can’t kill yourself over a g-damn stranger. Get a f-ing grip._ He watched as the guy kept walking, not climbing into any cars. He just walked down to the sidewalk and around the street corner until Michael couldn’t see him anymore. 

_Is that it? Are we done?_ He asked himself. _F-ing NO!_ Michael got in his car and drove in the direction Gavin had walked. _I’m a wacked out weirdo—I should be put in a f-ing mad house._ Michael listened until he heard his thoughts again and parked his car. He sat inside for a moment of judgment. _On a scale from one to a f-ing billion, how stupid is this? A billion. A g-damn billion, you idiot._ Michael growled at himself. _Why am I so hung up on this guy? A grocery store nobody? I’ve memorized how he thinks. I’m literally hunting him. I’m a lunatic._

Michael sat with his head in his hands, not even bothering to undo his seatbelt. _Let it go. Forget it. Don’t force it._ Michael ruminated on how he felt cursed. Normal people would never deal with this. They would never hear the thoughts of a random stranger and feel compelled to stalk them. They wouldn’t even give a guy like Gavin a second look, probably, let alone get in their car and follow them down the street, tracking them like Sacagawea. 

Michael turned up his radio and leaned back, ignoring the thoughts swilling around on the streets just outside his car and pretending that he sat on the secret side of a two way mirror. 

Then he heard a tapping on his windshield. He heard the thinking of the tapper before he opened his eyes to confirm who it was. 

_What a batty boy,_ Gavin thought. _Is he dead?_

Michael sat up, a stupid smile plastered on his face as he turned his car off and stepped out onto the sidewalk. 

_Guy looks familiar,_ Gavin remembered. _Saw him at the bloody grocery store, right?_

Michael felt tempted to answer his questions, but held back, reminding himself the difference between someone’s thoughts and their words. Gavin hadn’t even opened his mouth. It dawned on Michael that he had never heard his actual voice. 

“Hi, I’m Michael.”

 _Michael._ “Micool?” he confirmed in his heavy British accent.

Michael was thrown off. He processed his name so differently than he pronounced it. He shook it off. “Yeah. And yourself?”

“I’m Gavin,” he said. “I was just checking to make sure you were alright. You looked dead. Did I happen to see you at the grocery today?”

“Yeah, you seem familiar,” Michael continued smoothly. He felt himself wanting to pry into Gavin’s mind and search for his opinions on himself so far, but he held back. His words were fast enough to try and keep up with, he didn’t want to juggle his deeper thoughts yet. “You knocked over some cereal boxes.”

“Yeah. It was me.” He grinned, ruffling his own hair a bit. _This guy’s weird._

 _Oh great, he thinks I’m weird already. Oh well, press on. He doesn’t know you know he thinks you’re weird._ “Anyway, um, can I repay you somehow for having the courtesy to check on me?”

Gavin seemed taken aback. “Um, sure? I was actually just popping out of that bar there. It was…” He couldn’t quite come up with the right word.

“A mess,” Michael filled it. “That bar’s no good. Are you not from around here?”

“No.” _, England. I just came here a few months ago to film some slow motion stuff and now I’m just trying to find my way around here._

Michael had to remind himself that all that he knew wasn’t what he had been told, so he quickly discarded the information that Gavin had supplied against his will. “I can show you a better bar, if you’d like?”

 _Is this guy up for it? He looked pretty damn dead in his car a moment ago._ Gavin’s facial expression seemed skeptical but hopeful.

“I promise, I’m fine. I was just recuperating after going to the movies. I saw that new Marvel film.”

“I was just there!” Gavin informed him. “Did you like the movie?”

“Yeah, I did. How about Tom Hiddleston? Huh?”

“I would!” Gavin said. 

Michael was surprised. That was normally the kind of thing that someone would think and not say. He recovered quickly, adding, “I don’t think there’s a person alive who wouldn’t.” 

Gavin smirked. _Okay. His stupid little face is kind of charming. Is that a dimple? Eff me._ “Let’s go bev up, Michael. Lead the way.”

Michael had a shot at something here. He wasn’t sure what though. A new friend? Someone to love? Someone to fall in love with? The possibilities seemed endless with this guy, because he’d been around him for a while and not a single contradiction or evil thought escaped his brain and maybe that meant there were some people worth a little sacrifice. The twist of his smile, the scruff on his chin, and that dreamy accent sure made Michael hope so.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael spends a little time with the grocery store guy.

Michael grinned from ear to ear, reading the British idiot’s thoughts as he got drunker and drunker. 

_Just look at those bloody dimply dimples._ “A-and then I bloody gashed my leg all up. Dan was havin’ a laugh, but I thought ‘e was serious, so I just did it, balls to the bloody wall. A-and by the time it was all over, my back garden was on fire an’ my mum was sceamin’ from the kitchen window, ‘Gav, Gav. Gav!’” Gavin collapsed onto the bar in a fit of giggles as he wrapped up his story. 

Michael was cackling too. The hour he had just spent with Gavin was beyond silly, but he was having a fantastic time. For some reason, Michael could hear his thoughts so clearly above the noise of the bar that night. Perhaps it was because he had never been so interested in a single man’s thoughts as much as that before. 

_I hope he doesn’t think I’m an idiot_ , Gavin thought with a bubbly voice. _It’d be right embarrassing. I hope he thinks I’m funny._

“You’re f-ing hilarious dude!” Michael encouraged him, wiping the tears from his eyes. “I can’t believe your mom would let you out of the house with matches.”

 _Dude? Is that a good thing for a guy to call you?_ “Yeah, well, believe me, Michael, if my mum knew that Dan and I were about to engulf my back garden in flames she would have never let me. We got the whole thing on camera, luckily enough. Put it on youtube, you know, damn near went viral, as they say.” _Be humble, Gav. No one likes a show off._

“How many views?”

Gavin shrugged. “Eh… a few million.” _15 million._

“A-a few million? Damn du-Gavin, that’s impressive.”

 _It’s not a big deal. B’s hot so that’s probably where those views came from—teenage girls._ Gavin smirked and took a drink from his beer glass.

Michael realized how sober he still was at that point. He felt jealousy spring up in him. Who was this Dan guy? Was he the friend in the military? He briefly considered that Gavin’s thoughts had not indicated that he was interested in Dan as anything more than a friend, but maybe it was a suppressed emotion. Michael bridled his power for a moment, though, not wanting to push too far beneath the surface. He’d never enjoyed getting to know someone as much as he enjoyed getting to know Gavin. He wanted to take his time and do it relatively sober too. He wanted to remember as much of this conversation as possible. “How long have you known Dan?” he asked eventually, swirling his drink around in his glass.

“Uh, since secondary school,” Gavin mused. _That trophy cabinet wanker._ “We knew each other from class but then one day we played Halo online together because of a mutual friend. Since then, you know…” Gavin’s thoughts took on a melancholic tone, one of nostalgia. 

Michael pressed further. “Where’s Dan now? You guys are still friends, right?”

 _Best friends._ “Yeah, he’s gone to the army. He’s in Afghanistan, actually. When he goes home, he still visits my family, even though I’m not there. He’s like my brother, my B.” _And I miss him a g-damn load._

Michael began to piece it together. 

_It’s lonely in this city without him._

Michael took another drink of his beer, not sure what to say. Gavin seemed really alone. He wondered if he knew anyone else in Texas. After a quick browse of his brain, the answer came back negative. He had been to the grocery store and the movies alone. And before he tapped on Michael’s car window, he had been planning to go out and drink alone. Michael learned then that he had tapped on his window with the expectation of maybe meeting someone to take him to a better bar and have a conversation with. 

It all seemed rather fateful, that the guy he spent a few hours tracking would be the one to reach out to him with the same hopes. 

“You wanna know a secret?” Michael asked hesitantly, taking Gavin’s attention away from his beer. 

“What?”

Michael tapped the side of his glass. “I think that this time I’ve spent with you in this bar has been the highlight of my week.” 

Gavin blushed a crimson red. _Does he mean that in a flirty way? I’m drunk. I could do this._ By “this” Michael knew what Gavin intended. “I think that this has been the highlight of my week, too. Honestly.” 

Michael knew Gavin was getting flustered. “I think we should hang out again sometime,” he told him.

 _No, no, no . It sounds like he’s saying goodbye. Dammit._ “We should.” Gavin displayed a smile but his eyes looked a little bit sad. 

Michael could see that he really had been missing decent human interaction. He blinked a few times, staring at Gavin’s blush face during the intervals. 

_What’s wrong with me? Why’s he staring? Did I say something weird? Probably I’m a damn loon. I’ve Gavved it. I’ve Gavved it._

“Gavin, I-I’m a mind-reader,” Michael confessed. “I should have said something sooner. I can read your mind.” 

Suddenly Gavin’s thoughts became a confused jumble. _What? That’s not possi—Does he mean to tell me he’s heard all of my thoughts about his adorable little smush face? Eff me. Eff me? It’s not possible. No such thing. He’s crazy. Just when I think I’ve made a decent friend in this damn town—Dammit! He looks amused. What? Why does he still seem hot? He’s a lunatic. He’s crazy. Not hot. Not hot. Not hot. Totally hot. Dammit!_ Eventually his mouth caught up with him before he spat out a baffled, “What?” _He’s just joking. Surely. A Joke._

“I’m not joking, I can read your mind. I… um. I know you don’t have any other friends in town and I know that you work in the film industry and I know you have a cat. His name is Egg.”

 _Egg Bodge? H-how could he know that?_ “Do you follow me on twitter?” Gavin asked, trying to make sense of it all.

“I just met you today. In the grocery store. You were concerned because you weren’t familiar with the store lay out. That’s the first thing I learned about you. I’d never seen you before that. Just trust me on this? Okay? I can read minds.”

Gavin stood from his barstool and made a step backwards. _I’m scared. This is scary. Not worth dating a hot guy if he’s a g-damn lunatic, Gav. Run._

“Stop, Gavin, wait,” Michael ran his hands though his hair in frustration. “I think you’re… attractive. And I’d like to take you out sometime. I just… here.” Michael grabbed a napkin from off the bar counter and scrawled his number on it. “If you never want to see me again, that’s fine. But I know you’re lonely and that you think I’ve got damn adorable dimples. If you want to hang out with me sometime, just call. You’ve got the most lovely brain to read and it’d be a f-ing shame if I never got to read it again.” 

_Oh no. Oh no. He can read minds. Michael? Are you reading my mind right now? Dammit. God—sausages._ Gavin stared at Michael slack jawed for a moment. Michael grinned somewhat smugly as he could practically see the confused gears in Gavin’s confused brain grinding. After a few more moments of contemplation, Gavin grabbed the napkin off of the bar and walked out onto the street, the door to the bar swinging shut behind him. As he walked out of range, Michael could barely hear him thinking, _Should mind reading be a turn on?_

Michael chuckled and paid the tab, figuring that it wouldn’t be long before Gavin texted him.  
\---  
The following morning Michael woke up to see a notification on his phone. 

The text read: I was pretty damn drunk last night, but I have this phone number and I think that it belongs to a ginge mind reader.

Michael smirked, typing back: That would be correct. I’m assuming you want to take me up on my offer to go out again?

Just as Michael began to worry that Gavin wouldn’t reply, he heard his phone beep again. It said: Can you read my mind right now?

Michael: Haha. It doesn’t quite work like that. 

Gavin: Do you know all of my darkest secrets?

Michael: If I did, I probably wouldn’t be asking you out again. 

Michael sighed after he hit sent. He knew Gavin would probably take it as a joke, but he feared that it would become all too true. There’s a breaking point with everyone Michael has ever met. There’s always a straw that breaks the camel’s back. Gavin still had an air of purity to him, an unsullied innocence. He feared that would dissolve too soon. Michael leaned back on his bed as he tried not to think such pessimistic thoughts. 

His phone beeped again. Gavin: I think you’d be surprised. 

Michael: Very few things surprise me, Gav. 

Gavin: Well, it’s going to be my goal to surprise you then. 

Michael: Bring it on.

Michael’s hand fell back on the bed as he closed his eyes. He had never taken a chance on someone like this in a long time. He had never really had more than one date with anyone in the past several years. He had never stalked someone either. Maybe Gavin could offer him a few surprises after all. A smile formed on his lips.

Gavin: Okay, then. I will bring it. I will bring it all the way to our date. 

Michael: Okay, you know the restaurant on the corner of 5th and Main.

Gavin: No, but Google Maps does. 

Michael: Do you want to meet me there tonight? At 7?

Gavin: :)

Michael: Taking that as a yes.

Gavin: You can read minds from far away!

Michael scoffed. Gavin was even endearing over text. He put his phone down on his night stand and got up to make himself breakfast and wonder how hung-over Gavin would be after their time together last night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael explains how he reads minds to Gavin. Also, they enjoy a nice sunset.

Michael arrived a few minutes early to ensure they got a table at the restaurant. It wasn’t the fanciest place, but it could get kind of crowded so you need to be smart about getting a table there. Michael had tried not to overdo it on his appearance, but the hostess’s thoughts made him think he might have. _Looks like he’s been nominated for an Oscar,_ she mocked. 

Michael looked down at his outfit. He was wearing black dress pants and a long-sleeve button-up shirt. He had finished off his look with a tie and a watch. Of course, he didn’t want to smell average either, so he wore cologne. The only part of his look he didn’t meticulously prepare was his hair, which was as curly and unruly as ever, but he knew better than to try with that anyway. 

It was only about ten minutes later that Gavin arrived, still somewhat early for their agreed upon meeting time. Michael looked at him and couldn’t help but chuckle. 

_What is it now? My hair? It’s always a mess. God, is this a fancy restaurant? Michael’s in a tie. I’ve botched it. My first date ruined._

Michael admired Gavin’s lack of attention to details. For example, his left converse sneaker was not laced up fully and his belt on his plaid cargo shorts wasn’t entirely buckled. At least his shirt had a collar. 

_I’m embarrassed._

“Don’t worry, Gav,” Michael reassured him, grabbing his shoulder gently. “I overdid it. You aren’t the only one here in tennis shoes.” 

Gavin looked around the restaurant and saw that it was true. He sighed in relief. _Thank God._

“Jones, your table is now ready,” the hostess told them grabbing the menus. She walked them to the back of the restaurant, occupying her brain with thoughts of how unmatched this couple looked: Michael professional and young looking, Gavin suave and casual. Michael ignored it as best he could, though. 

They sat down and Michael smirked. “You didn’t look up the restaurant before coming, huh?” 

Gavin sputtered a moment before telling him, “No. I wanted to be surprised.”

Michael’s face felt warm. 

_Michael never gets surprised._

“You’re shaping up to kind of being a surprise,” Michael told him, responding to Gavin’s unsaid thought. 

Gavin smirked. “Oh yeah? Am I the only bloke dumb enough to be charmed by a mind reading creep?” 

If only Gavin knew the half of it. “No, that’s not exactly what I meant, you asshole. I mean that I haven’t really met someone who I thought was even worth a first date in a very long time.”

 _Pressure. I’m not going to last long with this guy._ Gavin put on a smile despite his bad premonition. “Should I be flattered?”

“I don’t know. I can tell you that you shouldn’t be so f-ing anxious, though. I’m just a dude.”

“A dude who can read minds!” Gavin whispered excitedly, leaning over his menu. “Excuse me for being a little nervous. It’s a bloody good job I ain’t a criminal, innit?” 

Michael chortled as he observed the menu. “I guess.”

_He laughs at me a lot. I wonder if he thinks I’m stupid._

“Yes. I do. But that’s not why I’m laughing.”

Gavin looked up. “Huh? Oh, right. I forgot you can read like, all of my thoughts, yeah? Even like the ones I don’t want you to read.” His eyes grew wide. _Don’t think about that time you pissed yourself on that airplane and had to get your fresh pants out of your carry-on bag while the whole damn plane could see your soaked trousers. Oh no._ “Did you read that?” Gavin looked bewildered and upset.

“Nope. I didn’t catch anything about you on any airplanes or anything like that,” Michael said sarcastically, shooting him a cocky grin.

“I’ll just show myself out of the restaurant then,” Gavin deadpanned, standing.

“Sit down, you moron,” Michael teased. “It’s no big deal. I pissed myself on the bus home from school when I was a junior. I got ridiculed.” 

“What?” Gavin spat, taking his seat back. “How did you ever recover from that?”

Michael shrugged. “I had a knack for knowing secrets in high school. Everyone shut up about it after I made it clear to that bus of asses that I had the power to ruin every single f-ing last one of them and I wasn’t afraid to use it.” 

“Just knowing you is kind of scary,” Gavin admitted, squirming in his seat. _What have I gotten myself into?_

“Don’t sweat it, boy. All of your secrets are safe with me.” Michael patted his own chest. 

_I’ve known him for two days,_ Gavin reminded himself wearily. 

“Gavin, let me just be honest here, okay? I don’t want to read your mind. I don’t want to read anybody’s mind. If you have secrets, I’ll try to keep out of them.” Michael stuck his nose back into the menu.

“So, like, you don’t automatically read minds?” Gavin asked, cocking his head to the side a bit. 

Michael sighed, setting down his menu. “Okay, well. I’m going to try my best to explain here, okay? So like, you know an iceberg?”

“I am imagining the ice berg,” Gavin said, closing his eyes. “Yup, done.”

“I know you’re imagining the damn ice berg, I can read your mind, remember?”

Gavin simply giggled. 

“Okay, so like, I’m in this big boat and everyone else and I can see the tip of the ice berg on the top of the water. That’s the shit you actually say.”

“My brain is the ice berg?” Gavin asked, his eyes still squeezed shut.

“Yes! Now quit interrupting me! Most other people can only see the tip, but I can very easily see the bit of the iceberg just below the surface. I can see all of that; it’s a f-ing breeze. If I want to put forth the effort though, I can jump off the boat and dive under the water and I can see the whole ice berg as deep as my oxygen tanks will take me. Every little bit further I go down into the subconscious, a little harder it gets.”

“Okay, okay. Everything below the surface of the water is what goes on inside my brain but never actually comes out?” 

“Yes, that’s very good Gavin,” Michael patronized. 

_I’m going to order that burger with avocados on it._

“Okay, so I guess you aren’t interested in my brain-probing powers anymore?” Michael mocked, noting Gavin’s order.

“No, no, go on. What’s your range?”

Michael was confused for a second until he realized Gavin was thinking but not articulating that he mean to ask how far away Michael can read minds. “Um, it depends. If I’m listening for someone’s thoughts specifically I could probably hear them a little ways down the street. I’d have to know they were there though, you know? And it would take some focus. I can hear everyone in this restaurant’s thoughts on top of their voices too and the closer someone is, the louder their thoughts seem. Voices and thoughts are kind of similar like that.” 

Gavin nodded. _This is confusing. Where is our waitress?_

“She’s on her way, Gav,” Michael told him, peering at a young girl walking toward their table.

“Sorry about your wait, gentlemen.” She grinned.

“No problem,” Gavin lied. Michael knew that he was impatient and hungry.

“So, can I take your drink order?” she asked.

“You can take our food order too. I’m going to have the chicken tacos with the regular sides with a Coke and he’ll have an avocado burger with… fries and a Mountain Dew.” Michael smirked at Gavin. 

“Any appetizers, by chance?”

“He would like to get an order of the bread sticks,” Michael told her. 

She nodded and walked off.

“By the way, Gavin, she was not sorry for being late,” Michael informed him, leaning back in his chair slightly.

“Michael! She’s going to think I’m mute!” Gavin complained. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I can talk just fine on my own!” 

Michael batted his eyelashes a few times. “Just showing off,” he admitted.

Gavin bit his lip. _He’s showing off for me. Irritating prick._

Michael laughed. “I’ll let you order the damn dessert,” he compromised.

“Thank you!” Gavin said with a huff before breaking out into a little fit of giggles. _I hope he’s getting the bill if we’re having all three bloody courses._

“Gavin!” Michael scolded with a grin. He couldn’t find it in himself to find that thought condemning. It was funny and humanizing if anything. Not so much a chink in the armor as a bug on the windshield. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll pay my share!” Gavin back pedaled. 

“F-ing foget about it, Gav. I’ll get it. Just relax, okay?” Michael wanted to ensure Gavin knew what he was potentially getting himself into, but he also didn’t want to be an asshole to him and stress him out so much on a first date.

Their drinks arrived along with the breadsticks and Gavin’s mind lit up like a party. 

He crammed a break stick into his mouth and offered his date a goofy smile. “Michael, do you think I’m lovely?” Gavin asked dreamily, still chewing a little bit. _I’m a dick._

“You are the most lovely boy I ever met,” Michael told him, picking up one of the pieces of bread and hitting him on the nose with it. He shoved it into his mouth.

 _Michael…bread stick…blowing dudes._

Michael cocked an eyebrow at Gavin’s naughty train of thought. “Really dude?” Michael mocked. 

“You weren’t supposed to hear that, Michael,” Gavin pouted, his tanned face turning a lovely scarlet. 

Michael just laughed anyway, noting how easily he blushed. 

The rest of their dinner went pretty well. Gavin got a glob of avocado on his shirt and contemplated licking it off and then he ordered the cheesecake as a dessert. Michael let him have most of it when he realized what he was doing: He was paying for the meal and letting Gavin have most of the dessert. Sacrifice. It wasn’t like he was laying it all on the line for this guy, but he felt like maybe he was making strides toward something kind of like love. Maybe he would be capable of it? He shook the thought off bitterly, trying not to get his hopes up. He’d been down that road once or twice and if he was going to walk down that path again he wanted to be prepared for whatever may be at the end of it. 

Gavin finished the dessert with a bit of the cheesecake lingering on the corner of his mouth. 

“Gavin, you, uh, got a little…” Michael hinted. 

_Bollocks. I’m an embarrassment. He doesn’t even have to know my thoughts to figure that one out. I wonder if I could get him to lick it off._ “Damn it!” Gavin cursed.

“Are you really that hot for me?” Michael questioned, a red tint settling into his own cheeks. 

Gavin groaned. His thoughts on the matter weren’t clear.

Michael just allowed himself to cackle at the frantic British thoughts. He couldn’t help it. He wiped his eyes with his hands as the waitress brought them their check.

Michael paid and they left the restaurant. “The night is still young,” Michael mused. “Did you drive here?”

“I don’t drive,” Gavin told him. “I’m a loser, I know.” Gavin’s minds filled with thoughts of public transportation in England and how it was easier there. 

“I understand. You wouldn’t have needed to back home,” Michael replied smoothly. “Can’t blame you for not having a license.”

_He’s actually capable of kindness._

“Hey, I got the bill, you know I’m capable,” Michael teased, elbowing his date. 

_Are we gonna do something else? I’m so full of food._ Gavin stifled a moan as he rubbed his stomach. 

“There’s always room for alcohol?” Michael suggested. 

“You’re going to get me drunk?” _Please?_

“I can try,” Michael said. 

The sun was beginning to set as Michael drove Gavin to a new, less crowded bar. 

_The sky’s pretty, like a box of kittens._ Gavin hummed lightly from the passenger seat. _Michael’s car smells nice. He does too. Like a lot of perfume. I love that smell._ Gavin sniffed loudly and released a sigh.

Michael contained his amusement at Gavin’s pleasant twilight thoughts. 

_It’s just past golden hour. I like that time best._

“What’s golden hour?” Michael asked, his curiosity taking over his desire to let Gavin think uninterrupted.

“It’s the time of day when the sun’s just about to set but it’s not quite yet. You use it in filming for sappy romantic scenes. I’ve filmed a lot of coffee commercials at golden hour, even though they were supposed to be taking place at morning time.” Gavin hummed again. “I like that time of day ‘cuz everything looks so cuddly.” 

“That’s really nice,” Michael told him genuinely, pulling into a parking space. “I like those thoughts.” He closed his eyes for a moment and let Gavin’s happy thoughts wash over him like a warm wave of joy. He opened his eyes again and shot Gavin a mischievous grin. “Let’s go get f-ing hammered.”


	5. Chapter 5

Michael’s tie was laying on the table in the poorly lit bar, taken to allow himself a little more room to breathe. He felt a warm buzz, but he wasn’t quite as drunk as Gavin. Gavin was gone, slumped on the table in a pile of giggles. 

“A-are you s-sure you want me to get drunk?” Gavin stuttered, looking up at Michael, with his eyes half lidded. _I’m drunk. I’m a drunk little lad._

“Gavin you are so far past drunk at this point,” Michael told him as he brought his own glass to his lips. 

Gavin put his head back on the table. “I know Michael. I know. But the sky’s the bloody limit. I can get drunker.” _Maybe if I’m drunker I can work up the nerve to get a kiss from him._

“You’ll need your stomach pumped and a liver transplant,” Michael informed him, ignoring Gavin’s last thought in favor of mocking him.

“Yeah, but if I get drunker then I’ll be able to float to the moon!” Gavin explained. 

“That makes no damn sense, buddy,” Michael told him, seeing now just how drunk he was.

“No, no it does. I feel buoyant. I’m drinking light beer. I can float.” Gavin eyelids fluttered as though he were imagining floating to the moon, and he was.

“You’re a moron,” Michael scoffed happily. 

Gavin’s thoughts were everywhere and nowhere all at once and all Michael could really gather was that he was being shy, but also dealing with a desire to make out. And by the way Gavin was turning out to be, Michael would normally agree, but because Gavin was up to his eyeballs in beer, he decided it would be better not to. 

“I think I should drive you home,” Michael said. “You probably need to go to sleep.”

Gavin lifted his head up again as though it weighed a thousand pounds. “I’m having so much fun, Michael, I don’t want to go back home.”

Michael had to fight against his desires to hang out with his happy drunk date. His better reasoning skills told him that he would regret doing anything else with Gavin while he was so hammered.

Michael stood up, grabbing his tie off the table. “Come on, Gavvy, we’re going to go on an adventure!” Michael baited him, extending an arm to him.

Gavin grinned like an idiot and took Michael’s hand. _Magic! Yay!_

Michael cocked his head and one of his eyebrows shot up involuntarily. Gavin wasn’t making much sense anymore.

Michael guided Gavin to his car and made sure he was buckled in before he got in the driver’s seat. 

Gavin rolled his head lazily to look at Michael. “Are you sure you’re fit to drive? If you need me to be the DD I can.”

“Gavin, you’re drunk as balls and you don’t even have a f-ing license,” Michael yelled.

Gavin laughed. “I know Michael.” _I like it when he gets mad._

“I’m glad you like it when I’m mad, because you really piss me off,” Michael teased him, throwing him a wink.

Gavin’s eyes closed for a minute and Michael took the opportunity to read Gavin’s mind past the surface to find out where he lived. It gave Michael a little bit of a headache, because Gavin’s intoxication made all the facts a little harder to navigate. Regardless, Michael got the address out of his jumbled brain and he drove. 

“Where are we going, boy?” Gavin asked, not recognizing where they were in his drunken stupor. 

“I told you, it’s an adventure.” 

Gavin slapped a hand onto Michael’s knee as he drove. “Michael, I’d go anywhere with you,” he slurred.

Michael shook his head with a grin plastered on his lips. 

_Michael is a good driver. I like responsible people. I don’t know where my socks are._

Michael glanced at Gavin’s feet and felt relieved. His shoes were still on and he didn’t appear to be missing his socks. 

Michael pulled into the apartment complex parking lot, which wasn’t far from downtown. 

_Oh. He’s lied. That was not an adventure._ “Michael!” Gavin whined.

“Quit your bitching, Gav. You need to get home before you do anything stupid,” Michael scolded him. 

_He cares about me. I want to do him._

Michael contemplated that thought. Did he care? Everything seemed to point in that direction. 

He was so occupied with his own thoughts, he almost didn’t catch Gavin thinking his own dirty ones as he leaned across the center console in his front seat and nuzzled his head along Michael’s neck.

“Gavin? What the f- are you doing?” Michael asked, jarring out of his own mind.

Gavin whispered against his skin. “Michael, If you want to, you can come inside my apartment for a bit.” _We can do some stuff._ Gavin’s thoughts were somewhere Michael wanted to be, but he bit his lip and looked straight ahead.

“Gavin, you’re drunk,” Michael stated flatly.

_Yeah, I am!_ Gavin was not picking up on what Michael was saying.

“Gavin, I’m not going to do anything with you when you won’t even remember it tomorrow.”

Gavin stuck out his lip. _Oh no. He doesn’t like me._

“Gavin,” Michael said, taking the boy’s chin in his hand. “I think you’re fantastic and f-ing sexy. But I’m not going to do anything with you like this, okay?” 

Gavin nodded with his head still sort of resting on Michael’s hand. “Okay.” _Why does he have to be such a good guy?_

Michael felt his heart leap. Nobody had ever thought so highly of him before. Gavin had only known him a short time, of course, but that drunken thought still meant something to him. 

Michael gave Gavin a peck on the cheek then released his face. 

Gavin sighed, as he opened the car door and stepped out slowly. _Last chance._

Michael shook his head and Gavin shut the car door. 

Michael watched him walk into the building and hoped that he would be able to make it into his apartment, but he figured if he walked him in, Gavin would’ve convinced him and as much as he would’ve loved to do some things with Gavin, he knew it wasn’t exactly the wisest choice. Michael strained himself and listened for Gavin’s thoughts as far as his brain would allow. 

Gavin presumably made it into his apartment and Michael got out his phone. “Did you make it in alright?” he typed.

Gavin: YEs Daddy. you pleb.

Michael chuckled, putting his car into reverse, and backed out of the parking lot.   
\---  
Ray came over in the middle of that week to visit Michael and show him a new game. 

Michael had settled into the couch and observed while Ray demonstrated how to acquire several of the achievements in the game. Whereas Michael would normally be interested, his thoughts were occupied with a certain British cinematographer.

“Dude!” Ray shouted from his seat on the floor, getting Michael’s attention. “It’s like the one time I’m actually trying to get you to pay attention to me you’re off in f-ing Lala Land.” Ray dropped the controller to his side. His thoughts expressed that he was hurt for some reason. 

“What’s the matter, Ray?” Michael finally asked, snapping out of his reveries. 

Ray couldn’t quite allow himself to think it outright, but he was jealous, and Michael could see that. “I’m not a mind reader, like you, but I know you’ve got someone else on your mind today.” Ray turned back to the television, trying to distract himself with the game, but ultimately failing. He felt horrible that for all the years he knew Michael, Michael never loved him. It’s not like Ray wanted dates and romance, but he would’ve liked to know that his friend cared about him. Some British guy wanders down the grocery aisle and suddenly he’s the only boy that Michael’s ever cared about. Now Michael can’t even pay attention to the guy sitting right in front of him.

“Ray, don’t feel that way,” Michael said.

“It’s fine Michael. It just sucks to love someone like you.” Ray didn’t even turn away from the screen. “If you don’t care about the achievements, we can do something else?” Ray had changed the subject out loud, but Michael could still see him thinking about it, how betrayed he felt. 

“We can talk about it, Ray,” Michael told him, wanted to clear his friend’s mind.

_You know better than anyone. If you can’t trust me, then you can’t trust him. You know what happened last time…_ “It’s cool, bro. Forget it.”

Michael knew what Ray was alluding to in his mind, what he was remembering. He heard Ray’s thoughts, his perspective, recalling the day that Michael had come to him, telling him what had happened. 

Michael held back a gasp as the vivid memories washed over him. 

Several years ago, he had been dating a girl. She was nice enough and pretty too. Michael didn’t tell her he could read minds though. His parents and counselors had always warned him to keep it a secret. If people found out, they would be scared, and he would not be able to make friends. And a child needs friends. As he grew, he kept that policy. It made sense after all. Only his family and those who sought to help him with his curse knew about it. 

He read the girl’s thoughts about him. She thought he was cute, charming, handsome. The only fault she found in him was that he seemed too distant. Too far away emotionally. He cringed for no reason when they were alone together, sitting in silence. After a while, she began to notice. 

One day, while they were out on a date, Michael caught a stray thought of another man. Soon he saw all the details. She had cheated on Michael in favor of someone a little more sensitive. Michael couldn’t address it, though. He could only suffer in silence, wondering how long he would have to wait for her to come clean. 

She didn’t though. They stayed together for a few weeks while Michael agonized, trying to think of a viable reason to break things off with her. If he hadn’t caught her thinking of the other man all that time, he would’ve stayed relatively happy. He decided that he would just have to make something up, tell her it just wasn’t going to work out. Break up with her. But before he could, she did. 

“Michael, I know you don’t love me,” she told him one day. “I’m done. You’re so distant. It’s like you’re not even here half the time. It’s over.”

Even though Michael had been crushed for the past few weeks, hoping she would apologize and confess, she never did, and in that moment, he felt the full weight of his curse. 

That night, he went over to Ray’s and told him all that happened, and finally confessed to him that he could read minds. Ray held Michael while he cried on his shoulder and Michael knew how sorry he felt for all the thoughts he had ever had toward Michael that weren’t exactly pleasant. 

Michael vowed from then on to tell anyone he spent time with about his problem. He never wanted to have to live in forced ignorance. He wanted to see the honesty in people’s words not just in the recesses of their minds. Sometimes he got what he wanted, and other times he didn’t, but he figured it would be better that way, to let people know and make their own decision about whether or not they wanted someone who could read their mind hanging around them.

Ray had stuck around after that, and so had Geoff. For that, Michael was grateful, but since his last relationship, he vowed never to love anyone again. He wouldn’t allow himself to be opened up to that kind of pain.

Ray and Michael sat in silence, both their minds occupied with these thoughts. 

Finally, Ray spoke. “Michael, I’ve seen you like this before and I remember how it ended. It’s not fair to Gavin and it’s not fair to you. I want you to be happy. I’m just afraid…” _…this guy will rip your heart out. I don’t want to have to hold you while you cry into my shoulder all over again._

Michael felt himself becoming angry. “I told him the truth though! He would know better than to try and cheat on me!” 

Ray fell back onto the floor, staring at the ceiling. _Is that even fair? This guy’s got to be fearing for his life around Michael, so careful not to think a bad thought. That kind of pressure… It’s not fair._

“You know what’s not fair Ray? Having to live a lonely as f- life because people are too afraid to let me see how f-ing screwed up they are!” Michael stood up, his face reddening. He knew Ray had a point, but he didn’t know if it was right. 

“Dude! I’m sorry, I just…” _I care a lot about you. F- me._

Michael ran his fingers through his hair, calming himself down. “I just wish that you could know somebody by their words, you know?” Michael said with a sigh. “I wish that I didn’t have to worry about Gavin breaking my heart because his thoughts don’t match up.” Michael shrugged. “But he makes me, happy right now, okay, Ray? And I don’t want to let that go. Not yet.” Michael sat back down.

Ray huffed. _I wish you could give everyone a chance like that._


	6. Chapter 6

With his hands shoved into his pockets and his breath puffing out visibly in front of him Gavin shuffled along the sidewalk beside Michael. “It’s bloody freezing out, huh? Damn.” Gavin pulled his shoulders up, shivering against the cold air.

“Not as bad as England, though, right?” Michael asked, cold himself. 

_I don’t know… Pretty damn cold here._ “I guess you’re right. I just suppose I expected Texas to be warmer than this. What about you, Michael? Are you alright?”

Michael chuckled. “I’m fine, buddy. Jersey is much colder than this in the winter.” 

_I don’t know why I suggested taking the damn walk_ , Gavin thought bitterly as his nose got continually redder. “Why did you move down to Texas anyway, Michael?”

Michael puffed his cheeks out, regretting the memories of his ex-girlfriend. He and Ray had actually moved to Texas shortly after that break up. Michael would never admit to running away, but that’s kind of what happened. They had other reasons to move as well, though. 

Geoff, who they had met online, asked them to move down and help him on a summer project to make a short film. Michael wound up getting a job as an electrician and Ray got a job at a video game shop, of which he quickly became the manager. Even after their somewhat successful summer project ended, Ray and Michael just decided to stay, and knowing that meant that Michael wouldn’t have to see her ever again sweetened the deal.

Michael sighed. “Well, my friend Geoff lived down here and he wanted me and Ray to move down here and help him with a project. We both just decided to stay after that.” He twisted a finger around one of his curls as an anxious habit, but the cold made him put his hand back into his pocket immediately. He decided to keep the story simple, not bringing up his whole sordid past.

“Oh, that’s cool. You’re an electrician now though, right?” _That seems boring. Michael deserves a job that’s more fun than that!_

Michael chuckled. “Thanks, Gav. I guess, if I had more luck, I could quit doing electrical work and just make Youtube videos full-time.” He shrugged. “It’s not easy though.”

“Oh, Michael! You could totally do it!” Gavin encouraged. _You’re so funny and handsome, why couldn’t you?_

“I already have a Youtube channel, Gav. No one watches it.” 

_Oh. No._ “Just stay persistant!” _Dan and I were and now look!_

“Gavin you have a particular useful skill set! You know how to do slow-motion. I got nothing.” Michael shook his head, not wanting to argue with Gavin. Gavin would insist upon Michael’s intrigue and talent all night if Michael didn’t stop him now. “It’s okay, though. Electrical work is great,” he lied.

_Damn, it’s freezing. OW! I bit the inside of my cheek._

Michael smirked at Gavin, glancing at him from the side as they walked along the sidewalk and past the public playground. The frost clung to the grass and tears formed in Gavin’s eyes at the blowing wintery wind. Gavin continued to think of his misery in the cold, Michael’s Youtube channel aspirations still at the back of his mind. 

“Gav?” Michael asked after staring at him for a while.

Gavin looked up after staring at his feet moving along the pavement. “Huh?” _Dimples. Eyes. Lips._

Michael withdrew his hand from his pocket and grabbed Gavin’s. “Do you want to meet my friends, maybe?” 

Gavin’s eyes lit up. “Yes!” _And get me out of this cold!_

\---  
“Michael, I want you to tell me your biggest—oof, damn—secret!” Gavin requested as he furiously mashed the buttons on Michael’s Xbox controller. “I mean, you already know all of mine.”

Ray laughed a literal “ha ha ha.” _He should know better than to try to tap into that brain._ “Yeah, how about it?” he agreed.

Michael scoffed from his position on his couch, watching Gavin lose a Halo death match with Ray. “I don’t know all of your secrets.” He listened as his companions all mentally called bullshit. “My biggest secret? I don’t f-ing know.”

Geoff shut the fridge door after grabbing his beer and settled onto the couch beside Michael, having overheard the conversation. “Gav, buddy, you need to understand that Michael may be able to read our minds, but he won’t let anyone into his.” 

Ray began thinking about those vulnerable moments when Michael broke down over discovering a person’s Achilles’ heel or their secret past indiscretions. _I’ve caught a few glimpses._

_I think Michael will break for me…_ Gavin thought cockily, dying yet again at Ray’s hand.

“Ugh,” Michael groaned, watching Gavin’s slender form twitching in front of him at the sound of Ray’s shot gun firing. “Fine. Here’s a secret. I’m sure everyone will get a huge f-ing kick out of this.” Michael could hear all of their attention turning to him. “I’m… uh… a virgin,” he confessed.

“What?!” Geoff spat, his brain not quite caught up with his mouth yet. _I can’t believe it! Gavin got him to admit that! I like that little prick._

“Michael!” Gavin exclaimed, turning around from the screen to face him. _I could fix that._ “That’s amazing!” 

Michael sighed, ignoring Gavin's stray sexual thoughts. “I f-ing know.”

“Loser,” Ray joked. 

Michael could see that Ray already figured the reason why, but went on to explain anyway. “You guys know that I can read everybody’s thoughts, right? Like, why would I want to sleep someone who thinks about getting spray tans all the time or who likes to use butter in the bedroom or who hopes her cat will watch?” Michael smirked. 

Gavin giggled. _Sex is sex. Even weird sex is kind of sex._ Michael caught a few glimpses of Gavin’s sexual partners, but Gavin’s mind, as quickly as the twitch of a squirrel’s tail, switched back to thinking of the potential of doing Michael.

Michael felt his cheeks reddening. 

_Looks like Michael is reading some dirty thoughts,_ Geoff noticed with a grin and a beer bottle on his lips.

Michael nudged Geoff as a warning. 

_Hey, it’s cool, buddy. Gavin seems like a f-ing cool dude._ Geoff put an arm around Michael’s shoulder.

Michael watched with starry eyes as Gavin finally lost the game with one last grunt. 

Ray set his controller down gracefully. _Easy. Who’s next?_

“I’ll shut you down,” Michael informed his friend as he joined him sitting on the floor. 

_No fair. You’ll always know where I am!_ Ray complained. 

“You have better f-ing reflexes,” Michael snapped back to Ray’s unspoken thought. 

“It’s damn creepy,” Gavin observed, “when he replies to things nobody said.” 

“I wish I could say you get used to it,” Geoff remarked, taking another swig of his beer and patting Gavin’s knee as he sat down. Michael heard fatherly thoughts from Geoff as he sat beside Gavin. Something about the Brit made Geoff want to take care of him. Michael could already tell that Geoff would be upset if something caused Gavin to go away. A weird bond had already formed between them in the brief time they had spent together. Gavin snuggled by the older man’s side. 

Michael saw the sides forming already. Ray would seek vengeance on Gavin if he hurt Michael. Geoff would chew out Michael if he hurt Gavin. Something about that made Michael nervous, but something else about that made him think even more that it might work. 

His distracted thoughts led to Ray’s victory over him, a mild upset as Michael was a pretty serious contender. Ray could probably put that on a résumé—“Can defeat a mind reader at Halo.”

After a while, Ray and Geoff left, leaving Gavin and Michael to sit in his apartment and twiddle their thumbs. Michael wasn’t quite sure what should happen next. Gavin had met his friends, and they had obviously hit it off.

_Geoff is an amazing dude!I think he and I could be little buddies! Bloody Ray too. I wonder if anyone ever calls him X-Ray? That would make a great superhero name for him. He’s like a bloody video game super hero._

“So you like them?” Michael asked, clearly knowing the answer.

Gavin grabbed Michael’s arms. “Those guys are lovely! Geoff is like…” Gavin gestured wildly without saying anything, but Michael knew what he was thinking. Gavin seemed as though he had a major infatuation with Geoff, but in a friendly sort of way. 

As Gavin sat there, clutching Michael’s arms, his thoughts were in a flurry of excitement at having just met two new friends, maybe even best friends. The light in his eyes were reflecting his bubbly thoughts that were everywhere but where Michael was about to take them. Michael grasped Gavin’s arms, and leaned forward.

Gavin’s thoughts stopped all at once and if Michael didn’t feel Gavin’s breath hitching and returning to normal and the raging beat of his heart against his own chest, he might have thought he killed him. Gavin’s brain suddenly surged back to life.

_Lips, mouth, kiss, go!_

Michael chuckled against Gavin’s lips. “You f-ing dork,” he mumbled into him. 

_Bloody-- sausages._ Gavin’s eyes fluttered shut as he leaned more into the kiss.

After a moment, Michael pulled away. He sat, staring into Gavin’s wide eyes. 

Gavin’s cheeks donned a pinkish glow. _Never kissed a bloke before. That was good. Damn good. Yeah. I’m hot._

Michael went in for another peck. 

_Is he like, my boyfriend now?_

Michael leaned his head on Gavin’s shoulder and nodded, like a cat rubbing its cheek on its owner’s leg. 

_Oh. Oh. He’s my boyfriend now. Good. Good. Yes. I guess he doesn’t hate_ me _huh?_

“I could never hate _you_ , Gavin,” Michael muttered hopefully into his boyfriend’s shoulder.

In that moment, Michael was happy. For a moment, he was genuinely happy. He had someone whose thoughts weren’t corrupt sitting beside him on his couch in his living room, someone who he felt he could share part of his life with. 

He was scared though. Scared beyond belief. A leap of faith is followed by a fall; the fall is exhilarating for sure, but you have no idea what will be there when you land. Michael just hoped beyond hope that Gavin wouldn’t pull the mattress out from under him and screw it all up.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael realizes that this is more than just a feeling.

In a moment, anything can change. You can go from being single to being part of a beautiful romance. You can injure yourself and you can die. Or you can lose your virginity in the backseat of your car after going to McDonald’s for a milkshake late at night after playing video games with your British boyfriend all day. 

Gavin had been optimistic when Michael had picked him up from his apartment that afternoon. So he brought along a few things. When Michael said something about spending the day in front of his TV playing Halo, Gavin couldn’t quite find it in himself to be disappointed to be playing video games all day, so he left his bag in the car when they walked inside the building. It turned out to be a good decision--after all, nothing gets a person more turned on than a chocolate dairy dessert. 

Gavin lay in Michael’s arms, panting. “Never done that before,” he said, his voice low as though he were talking to himself. 

The lights in the parking lot outside of Gavin’s apartment barely lit Michael’s face, only a slight golden glow tinted his flushed cheeks.

“You’ve never done it with a guy, you mean,” Michael said correctively, perceiving Gavin’s thoughts. Oddly enough, during all their fun, Michael couldn’t read a single one of Gavin’s thoughts and they had only just then returned. Michael supposed that maybe they were both too distracted by what was happening to come up with anything interesting to think about.

“Yeah,” Gavin said, yawning. _Never in a car before either._

Michael chuckled. “Thanks for the privilege, I guess.”

Gavin’s mind whirred excitedly. _Privilege? I got to be his first ever. Wow. His first time… With a dude in the back seat of a car. Could’ve been a bit more romantic, huh? Bloody inconsiderate of me._

“Gavin,” Michael said. “Stop. This was perfect.” Michael leaned down and gave Gavin a peck on his cheek. “But I’m tired and so are you.”

“Come in then, Michael. You can just sleep in my bed tonight, if you’re sleepy.” _I want snuggles._

Michael nuzzled Gavin’s neck. “Alright, you idiot. Let’s go in.”

The two entered Gavin’s messy apartment and meandered to his bathroom. Michael washed his sweaty face while Gavin gargled some mouth wash, gagging a bit as he did so. Gavin then began brushing his teeth.

 _He doesn’t have a toothbrush,_ Gavin thought. Without hesitating, Michael snagged Gavin’s toothbrush from his mouth and used it while Gavin stood watching in shock. Michael squinted one eye and cocked a crooked smile in Gavin’s direction. _Cheeky bastard!_ Gavin spat his foamy saliva into the sink and walked to his bed. Michael followed after a moment.

Michael checked Gavin’s mind for which side of the bed her preferred to sleep on, but it seemed Gavin preferred the middle. Without consideration for his guest, after pulling his shirt off, that’s where Gavin flopped down. Michael weaseled in on the side, nudging his boyfriend with his elbow a bit. Gavin simply opened his arms, though, so that Michael could rest there. 

“Aren’t I more of the big spoon type?” Michael asked. 

_Not tonight,_ Gavin answered, not bothering to open his lazy mouth.

Michael had never slept so close to someone before. As Gavin drifted off to sleep, Michael listened in on his dreams like a bedtime story. Michael never dreamed much himself, so it was fun to trace the weirdness of the story. In one moment, Gavin was in a video store and the next, he and the cashier were in a field, surrounded by lions. 

Michael could feel Gavin’s pulse quicken, as he tightened his grip around Michael, and drew himself nearer to his back. Gavin’s bare chest pressed into him. The solid thuds of his heart matched the pounding of Michael’s. After a while, Michael tuned out Gavin’s frantic dreaming and the hum of the air conditioning coupled with the droning snores erupting from Gavin’s nose aided in sending Michael off to sleep. As Michael fell asleep, his own mind filled with dreams and upon the morning he realized those were Gavin’s dreams filling his mind via proxy. 

Gavin was delighted that Michael had had the exact same dreams, whereas Michael thought it might’ve been creepy. For whatever reason, Gavin seemed to trust Michael so much that he didn’t care if he could see into his mind every moment. Michael felt so many times that he was in a trap, but also that he was trapping others by offering them no privacy. But Gavin trusted him, nonetheless. For whatever reason. 

Michael knew the reason, but he was too embarrassed, too scared to admit it. Gavin loved him. Michael knew it. As Gavin giggled over his breakfast, without a word spoken to affirm it, Michael knew that Gavin loved him. No longer just a crush, Gavin had something for Michael that Michael had never had for anyone else. And, the longer he thought about it, the more it gave him hope. Michael had friends. He had a boyfriend. Somehow everything would be normal for him. He could get some peace. 

“Gavin?” Michael said finally, interrupting Gavin’s happy babble. 

“Yes, Michael?”

“I think I should be headed home now. I have to get to work in a few hours.” Michael’s face felt hot. He was nervous he would upset Gavin by leaving. Gavin, however, appeared unfazed.

 _Wonder why his face looks so red?_ Gavin thought, swallowing a spoonful of cereal. “Alright, love. I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Of course, you idiot,” Michael said quickly, rising from the table. He dashed to the bedroom and shuffled back into his clothes. Michael waved as he left while Gavin still sat munching, leaving his cereal bowl on the table without rinsing it. 

_Lazy,_ Gavin thought affectionately. 

Michael hurried home and called Ray. He knew that he had to tell Ray what had happened. He knew that he had to tell Ray how he was feeling, what was happening inside of him and how his heart felt like the Grinch’s, growing out of its frame into a giant pulsing gooey mess and how he had never felt stronger or better. He knew he had to apologize. Ray deserved better from Michael, and Michael knew that now. Geoff deserved better too. And his parents. But especially Ray, who had never left his side, not even once. Ray never told Michael to hide who he was. He loved Michael even though Michael couldn’t love him back and Michael knew that that kind of love, that kind of family, is a gift. Especially to someone with a curse like his.

“Ray, you have to come over,” Michael said into his phone as soon as Ray picked up. 

“What?” Ray mumbled. Obviously, it was still early for him. 

“Please come over, I have to tell you something,” Michael begged.

Ray hung up, and Michael waited, sure he would come. And as Michael predicted, Ray knocked on the door what felt like seconds later. 

Michael threw the door open. “Ray, I’m in love with Gavin. I love him.”

Before Ray could even blink, Michael could hear his confused thoughts. _Love? Love someone he has only known for a few months? I’ve known him for years and this is who he decides to love?_

“Ray!” Michael’s heart was beating like he was in a field of lions. Ray stood stunned still, but his thoughts pounced on Michael ravenously. 

_You asshole, calling me over here to tell me this! I have always loved you and you never loved me back! Not even a little bit and this guy, this guy you love! You asshole! You utter asshole!_

“I love you too!” Michael finally shouted, not wanting to hear Ray’s clutter of thoughts any more, clawing at him and reminding him why his life had always been so miserable. “I love Gavin in a different way, obviously. But he has made me realize that I can love people. That not everyone is so bad. And you have always been there for me and you deserve love more than anyone and…” Michael ran his fists through his hair. 

Ray’s mouth hung open then. _That British bastard is the best thing that’s ever happened to him._ “Michael? Are you serious?”

“Yes!” Michael felt hot tears coming to his eyes. They were not angry, like usual. But these were tears of shock and joy. Finally, he felt what had always been missing in his life. 

Ray said nothing. He stumbled forward until he collapsed on Michael’s couch. “So, have you told Gavin yet?”

Michael suddenly realized he hadn’t. “No. But I guess I should, huh?”

Ray gave a sudden nod before reaching down for Michael’s Xbox controller. 

“Really?” Michael said, throwing his hands up in frustration. “Video games? At a time like this? I just told you that I am in fact capable of love!”

Ray shrugged. _I always figured you were. Just didn’t guess it would take a dude like that to convince you of it._

Michael shook his head. “I have to go to work.”

Ray lifted the controller. “See you later.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important confessions!

Michael straightened his tie on his neck and held his fist in front of the metal door that led to the inside of Gavin’s apartment. He wasn’t quite sure what you bring to a guy on an occasion like this. Flowers for girls, that makes sense. Maybe guys would like it too, but Michael was new to this whole love thing anyway. So he brought a bottle of wine and a new video game that had come out earlier that week that he knew Gavin had his eye on. After he took one deep breath, his fist met the door.

Gavin yanked the door open, a look of excitement on his face. Then when he observed Michael’s attire, his expression changed to confusion. _I thought we were just hanging out?_

Michael cleared his throat. “Can I come in then?”

Gavin nodded. _Is something wrong?_ He hadn’t noticed the bottle of wine in his boyfriend’s hand yet. 

“Nothing’s wrong, Gav.” Michael waved the bottle. “I just thought we could celebrate a little bit.”

“Why?” _It’s not our three month anniversary, is it? Is that a thing? It wouldn’t be a three month “anniversary” anyway. The “anni” part of that word means “year,” right? Three month anniversary is like saying “three-month-one-year-of-dating.” That doesn’t make a bit of sense._

Michael felt a smile lifting the corners of his lips. “Our three months was like last week, Gav.”

“Oh.” Gavin sat on the couch, somewhat spread eagle. _Then what’s this about?_

“I bought you this.” Michael shook the video game case. 

Michael heard an explosion of gratitude singing in Gavin’s brain. “Thank you! Is that what this celebration is for? I bet that game will be top!” _Deserves a bottle of wine for sure._

Michael rubbed a hand over his face, afraid he would be sweating. “Gavin, I, just it’s that, I mean after all this time I think that—“

 _He loves me._ Gavin knew.

Michael nodded. “I love you.” 

Gavin leapt from the couch and took the bottle of wine from Michael’s hand as he put his arms around Michael. Michael returned the hug and knew Gavin wanted a kiss. 

Michael leaned forward and put his lips on Gavin’s. His heart pounded, as though this were his first kiss. But he was much better at kissing than when he and Gavin first did. Gavin had silently taught him by his thoughts. Speed up, slow down, more tongue, less tongue. Now Michael didn’t need those thoughts to know what to do. 

_I love you, I love you, I love you_ , Gavin’s thoughts repeated and echoed. 

In that one moment, Michael wasn’t afraid. He knew that with Gavin there in his arms, right? everything would be okay. He had changed. What he thought to be impossible at one point, now seemed inevitable. All he needed was one person like Gavin to show him the way. 

Perfection is only an illusion, though.

The next week, Michael figured he should tell Gavin why it had been so long since he had dated someone. The real truth. He wanted Gavin to know why he had held off on telling him he loved him so long. He wanted Gavin to see how he had been hurt and hope that that would make up for any way he had hurt Gavin by being too emotionally withdrawn. He just wanted for someone to understand him, fully, romantically, sexually. Fulfillment for himself. 

Gavin sat perched on Michael’s lap as they played a video game, the TV muted. 

“Gavin,” Michael said. “I want to tell you a story.”

Gavin sat, quietly, his focus on Michael’s story—of the girl who broke his heart and cheated on him. Gavin wondered briefly if Michael was now gay because of that. 

“No,” Michael answered. “I’m not gay because of her. I’m gay because I love you, you asshole.” 

Gavin chuckled as he burrowed his head into Michael’s shoulder. 

Michael continued his story, explaining how he couldn’t tell her he knew because he had been forbidden to tell people about his curse. But ever since then, since that heartbreak, he wanted to tell anyone he would be close to. 

And in that very second, a flash of a memory skirted through Gavin’s brain. Of a young girl, beside him, naked. Gavin had had sex with her, but she was not his girlfriend. His girlfriend never found out, and Gavin never got caught. He had cheated on that girl. He had done to her exactly what Michael feared would happen to him again. 

And the picture-perfect love story--of one teaching another how to love, teaching him that not all people are so bad and dark—eroded into nothing but a lie. 

Michael stood up, knocking Gavin to the floor. 

“You’re just like everyone else,” Michael said, looming over his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. 

“What?” Gavin said, peering up at Michael. Michael could see that Gavin didn’t realize that Michael had caught a glimpse of that damning scene.

“I saw that memory. You cheated on that girl, just like that girl cheated on me. You’re no better than her. She’s the reason I gave up. I thought you would bring me back from that. But no. You’re just like all the other scum on the planet. You’re not so cute and innocent.” Michael was fuming.

Gavin stood up. Michael could see he was intimidated. “That was a long time ago, Michael!” he said. _I forgave myself of that a long time ago._

“I don’t care, Gavin. Did you ever apologize to those girls? Did you ever tell the truth? No. No you didn’t.”

Gavin gritted his teeth. “I was in secondary school! I thought that was cool of me to do. I haven’t seen either of those girls in years.”

Michael shook his head. “People really never change. I was wrong. I should have known better.”

Gavin squared his jaws and his shoulders, angry and sad. “Michael, you think you might know people, but you only know them like a book. I’d rather know someone like a… like a deck of playing cards that’s I’ve had since I was a lad, or like the scars on my knees. People are more than their thoughts and memories. Aren’t they, Michael? People are their actions, yeah? And speeches and scruffy beards. People are flesh and blood and numbers and documents and science! People are stars in the sky and dirt off the ground. B-but you make people into who they are and what they were, but how about what they will be? You can’t know that, Michael! You can’t possibly know what I’ll be like in ten years! You can’t even know yourself like that!” 

“Are you f-ing saying that you want me to know who you are in ten years?” Michael asked, somewhere between furious and curious. 

_Yeah, maybe._ “You’re off point, Michael. I thought you loved me. You said you could never hate me.” 

Michael’s face grew redder as he screamed. “Gavin, you can’t possibly have any f-ing clue what it’s like inside my head! You don’t know people like I know them!” 

“Yeah! I’d like to think I know them a little better.” _And minge off, I don’t care. I love you and I don’t care._

Michael simply growled. “I don’t want to do this.” 

Gavin’s mind began churning. _I know myself better than anyone. I still love me. I know me like Michael knows people and I still love me. Does he not love himself?_

“I don’t love myself, Gavin. I’m just like everybody else. I’m a piece of shit and I’m the only person on the g-damn planet willing to f-ing own up to it.”

“So I’m a piece of shit?”

“Yeah! Gavin you are! Get used to it! Everybody is shit!”

“Screw off Michael! I don’t need you telling me who I am! I know! I’m perfectly fine as I am and I don’t need you to love me. Screw off.” Gavin turned and walked away and Michael watched, steaming. He couldn’t stand him. He couldn’t stand him telling him that he knows better. It’s just as well that he leave and let Michael be free of his stupid thoughts and his childish emotions. 

Michael didn’t notice the hot tears on his face until Gavin was out of range. He wiped them off and went to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. He buried his face into his mattress and screamed until his throat was raw and he drifted to sleep. He didn’t need Gavin. He didn’t need him or anyone else.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something strange happens to Michael's powers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo soooo sorry that I took soo sooo long to update. I have actually had this story finished for while in my computer but just never got around to posting the ending. I bet you all want to hit me. A lot has changed for me since the last update. I got married, for one thing! Actually, I got engaged really shortly after the last time I updated, so I guess I have been pretty distracted since then. But anyway, here it is now! Enjoy!!

Michael lay in bed for several days. He felt like he had eaten a ten pound slab of dark chocolate, coated in coffee and sprinkled with salt and the taste still hadn’t left his mouth. His throat felt tight, and had been since Gavin left that day. As if a chain were squeezing round his chest, he felt himself unable to breathe comfortably. He hoped that one day, he would be able to return to normal function, but he refused to admit his misery was based in that fact that he truly had loved Gavin and now he had lost him. Rather, Michael opted to pretend that his very emotional reaction was a result of discovering he had indeed been right about people all these years, and it did not bring the satisfaction that being irrefutably correct normally does. 

Michael had not changed out of his clothes. He could still smell traces of Gavin’s scent on them: a kind of sweet smell, with hints of some sort of herb and soap. He knew that if he shed his clothes he probably would have an easier time shedding the feeling that he was dying at the absence of Gavin’s hands. Somehow, the rawness of the pain was refreshing, like having exfoliated something away. Michael thought that he had expelled from himself delusion and naivety, but he knew he had only ridded himself of happiness. Somehow, he thought to be living in acceptance of the truth in melancholic depression was an improvement to living a lie in joy. 

The curtains were drawn shut and only a small sliver of light could enter the bedroom, casting a beam of sun onto Michael’s mess. An opened bag of Doritos resided on the floor, crumbs escaping the opening. All around the bed, blankets and sheets that Michael had kicked off heaped on top of each other and he couldn’t be bothered to pick them up. A smashed picture frame containing a photo of Michael and Ray shattered somewhere by the closet when Michael had flung it in frustration. 

The hours he spent alone made him feel as though he were underwater in a chlorinated pool. All around him, he heard nothing and he could not open his eyes. For once, Michael was trapped in his own mind with no respite in the minds of others. It was not as helpful as he might’ve liked. He found himself, with a lack of others to criticize, to be quite angry with himself and all his thoughts compelled him and pushed him toward Gavin, toward Ray, and even toward Geoff. Toward anyone. But Michael refused himself and laid completely still, drawing slow and occasional breaths as if he were interested soley in staying alive, but only just so. 

A knock sounded at the door, but Michael couldn’t quite be sure who it was. He guessed, of course, that it was Ray, come to coax him back to the bars or into his friendly company. But, though his front door was not far off, he couldn’t quite make out the voice of the thoughts. He hoped, for a second or two, that Gavin had returned, though he knew that he had no reason to. He couldn’t solve anything by coming back. He didn’t have to apologize for anything. He couldn’t convince Michael that he was better off loving someone who was indeed a living, changing, and in some senses, fallen organism. 

The knocks increased in volume, but Michael didn’t move. He heard the knob jiggle. And finally, a click.

“Michael!” the voice sounded. Michael recognized the deep tone of it as belonging to Ray, but still his guest’s thoughts were muted.  
The door to Michael’s bedroom swung open. 

“Hey!” Ray said, standing in the doorway. “What are you doing? I haven’t heard from you in days. And you look greasy. When was the last time your nasty ass had a shower?” 

“We broke up,” Michael muttered, shoving his face into his pillow to avoid Ray seeing his eyes glistening with the threat of a sob.

“What?” Ray spat. “Why? What did you find out?”

“He cheated on a girl once.”

Michael heard nothing, not a thought from Ray, and it perturbed him. 

“What are you thinking?” Michael demanded, turning his face away from his pillow, becoming increasingly agitated at Ray’s mental silence.

“What? Can’t you tell?” Ray asked. 

Suddenly, Michael realized he was broken. He couldn’t hear, for the first time in his life, Ray’s thoughts. He felt like a door was closed and locked and behind it a great treasure. But at the same time, a new door was opened, and it opened to a great field and a beautiful world that he could explore at his own leisure. And perhaps, out there in that world, there was treasure to be found. Maybe not, but it was not locked away and it would be far more precious than anything he could find behind what was locked anyway.

A smile spread across Michael’s face as he sat up. “I can’t hear your thoughts.”  
“What?”

“I can’t hear a thing,” Michael said, tears welling in his eyes. “I don’t know why, but I can’t hear you.” The drops of water fell from his eyes slowly. He wasn’t sure how to feel.

Ray blinked slowly, as though he were trying to absorb what Michael had just said. “How do you feel?” Ray asked after a moment.  
“I don’t know!” 

“Can you try to read my thoughts?” Ray asked. “Try!”

Michael concentrated in the way he would if he were trying read someone’s secrets. He pushed and pushed and tried to weasel into Ray’s brain, but he couldn’t. After a minute of trying, though, he heard another distinct voice. A British sounding one. Perhaps he was only imagining it, but it sounded like Gavin were just outside the door.

 _I need to get out of here,_ it seemed to say

“I think I hear Gavin,” Michael said, a confession with a shrug. 

Ray sat on the corner of Michael’s bed and sighed. 

“What?” Michael asked.

“I’m sorry,” Ray mumbled, begrudgingly. “You love Gavin, I know it. He’s the first person you ever loved and you still love him. He did this to you, somehow.” Ray hung his head.

“How could he have done this?” 

Ray shook his head slightly. “I don’t know. But I don’t think you’ll ever be able to read anyone else’s thoughts. At least not until you sort yourself out with him.”

Michael scoffed. “I don’t want to.”

Ray snapped his head back and looked right at Michael. “He was the best thing to ever happen to you. He did for you what no one else could. So what if he cheated on someone? He’s obviously changed.”

“I thought you would say ‘I told you so!’” Michael said. “You hated him so much.”

Ray laughed. “That’s ridiculous. You’re like my brother and I just wanted to protect you. But I see now you’re worse off without him. You have Dorito crumbs in your carpet, dude.”

“You’ve loved me all this time,” Michael said. “I should’ve loved you too. You’re right. But I’m afraid.”

Ray stood up. “Why? Gavin won’t hurt you, I’m sure.”

Michael willed himself out of bed finally and began tugging some pants on. “It’s not that. It’s that if I really did hear Gavin’s thoughts earlier, I think he’s leaving town. He thought about getting out of here.”

Ray swallowed hard. “We should probably find him then before he heads back to England.” 

Michael agreed. He clenched his eyes shut and focused as hard as he could, trying to find that British voice. When he finally heard it, though, he wasn’t happy.

 _It won’t be long now until I finally see my B. I should’ve known better than to try to find friends here. I should have known better than to try to work in the United States at all. I’m better off back there. I’m better off without Michael, too._

Michael shuddered. “I don’t think he wants to see me,” he said to Ray. “I can hear his thoughts, for sure, and he doesn’t care about me anymore.”

“Bullshit!” Ray said. “Bullshit! I saw how he looked at you. You were so important to him. And besides that, Geoff really liked him. We owe it to him to get him back!”

“Ray!” Michael shouted. “I can’t make him love me!”

“You hurt him and he hurt you, but that doesn’t mean it’s over.” Ray gave Michael a stern look. “Figure out where he is!”

Michael clenched his eyes again, sitting down now as he felt exhausted. His head began throbbing, but it wasn’t long before he began to see what Gavin could see. An airport.

“He’s flying back home today!” Michael said, his eyes flashing open. “He’s at the airport!”

“Come on, then,” Ray said excitedly. “Let’s go!”

Michael swallowed hard, clenching his bed. 

Ray grimaced, walked over to Michael and grabbed his hand, pulling him up from his spot on the bed. 

Michael looked into Ray’s eyes for a moment, and though he could no longer read Ray’s thoughts, he knew what Ray was thinking. 

And Michael knew he was right. What he and Gavin had could not be undone by what had happened—not that easily. And he knew that Gavin, sitting at that airport, still loved him, and always would. Ray nodded once and Michael wrapped his arms around him, pulling his best friend close and squeezing him in a tight hug.

“Whoa!” Ray said, slowly returning the hug.

Michael released him. “Let’s get going.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

Michael sped along the highway, tuning into Gavin’s brain periodically, just to make sure he hadn’t boarded his plane yet. It seemed like Michael might have a little less than an hour to get to the airport, go through security, and find Gavin’s gate. His heart raced as he drove.

“Oh God, Ray, what if we don’t make it?” Michael asked, weaving through lanes of traffic.

“You mean die?” Ray asked, clutching the door handle, curled back into his seat uneasily. “Because that’s the most likely thing to happen here. You are going to kill us.”

“Shut up,” Michael said, braking and switching lanes again without a signal. 

Michael felt the importance of it all. How crazy was it that he would be in his car again, chasing down this guy by his thoughts just like the night at the movies? 

Michael thought about the strange symmetry of it all and took it as a sign that he would make it. He had to. Fate undoubtedly had brought them together—Michael always heard Gavin’s voice more clearly than anyone else’s. And now, as he whipped through lineups of cars at seventy miles an hour, Gavin’s voice was the only one he could hear, singing out to him above everyone else. 

Michael took the exit to the airport, and didn’t slow until he was into the parking lot. He screeched to a stop and jumped from the car.

“Want me to stay here?” Ray asked, patting the car.

“No, dude. I need you,” Michael said, jogging in his place while Ray got out of the car.

Ray shook his head. “I don’t like running.”

“Get over it,” Michael replied, jogging into the airport. 

He and Ray were the only people queuing their way through security without any luggage. Michael tugged his shoes off impatiently while they were in the line and tapped his sock foot on the cool floor of the airport. 

“When does his plane board?” Ray asked.

“Any minute now,” Michael said.

An older woman in front of them turned around. “Oh honey, are you trying to catch someone?”

“Yes,” Michael answered quickly, peering over her grey hair. “I screwed things up massively with this guy and now he’s trying to leave the country.”

“What did you do to him?” the woman asked, shocked. 

Michael sighed and hung his head. “It’s a long story. I just have to at least apologize to him before he goes.”

“Well, go ahead of me, dearies,” she said. “My flight doesn’t leave for a while.”

“Thank you,” Ray said, scooting around her.

“Go ahead of me too,” a girl about their age with a long blond pony-tail said. “You are too cute to go without your guy.”

The man in front of her nodded too, and in a moment Ray and Michael had skipped ahead of about fifteen smiling people. It’s fate, Michael thought.

Michael slid through the scanners without a problem, but they held Ray back to get frisked. 

“Go on, man,” Ray said as the heavy-set woman patted his legs.

Michael nodded, grabbing his shoes, not bothering to put them on.

Michael ran in the direction of Gavin’s gate, knowing he had about three minutes before Gavin’s plane would board.

He panted as he looked around. All the people rushed around him, trying to catch their flights, but for once, Michael felt utterly alone. Normally all the people and their thoughts would crowd him, but he felt so utterly isolated. His eyes almost filled with tears as he realized that all those years he wanted to be alone, but he never knew what it would be like to feel like he did now, overwhelmed by the lack of human interaction, especially the human interaction of the one person he needed most.

Then, out of the silence he heard a very British thought.

_Is that Michael?_

Michael’s head snapped in the direction of the thought and saw Gavin standing in the middle of all the rows of seats filled with others about to board the plane. 

Michael jogged toward the green eyes and the thoughts and the scruffy beard—toward the person he loved. 

Gavin just stood, his jaw stiff, his eyes almost glazed as Michael approached.

“Gavin!” Michael exhaled, exhausted, dropping his shoes by his feet. 

Ray jogged up behind them, having made it through security finally, but stopped about ten feet behind. 

Gavin looked over Michael’s shoulder at Ray panting, then back to Michael. “What?” he asked.

“What?” Michael asked back.

“What are you doing here?” Gavin’s voice sounded so uncharacteristically cold and it chilled Michael to the bone. _I thought you were done with me? How did you know I was here?_

“I came to say I’m sorry. Once you left I realized that people can change. Because I did. I changed and I loved you and at first I thought I had just fooled myself but after days of f-ing laying around and being miserable I realized why I hurt so bad. I need you, Gavin. You showed me what love is and now I know I love you and Ray and Geoff and my mom and my dad and all those people I never thought I could love.” 

“So, we’re not too messed up?” Gavin asked, hand on his hip.

“Coach may now board,” a voice said over the intercom. 

Gavin picked up his bag. _Better get moving._

“No!” Michael said. “No, you’re not too messed up. You’re messed up just the perfect amount. And I think someday I might be able to say the same thing of myself. Please don’t get on that plane.”

_I don’t know if I can get a refund on this ticket._ “You want me to stay?”

“Yes. And not just for me, right Ray?”

Ray closed the distance between them as the other British folk around them boarded the plane.

“Last call for coach,” the voice said.

Ray shoved his hands into his pockets and nudged Gavin’s bag with his foot. “Yeah, Gav. I’d miss you. And so would Geoff. He really liked you.”

“Please, Gavin. I know what it’s like to be alone now,” Michael said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “And I never want you or me to feel that way again.”

Gavin sighed. “Dan’s going to be right upset with me. I told him we would film some videos when I got home.”

“You’ll stay?” Michael beamed with delight. 

_Of course you donut._ Gavin broke into a smile and around Michael as the attendant closed the door to the plane.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue--Been holding on to this last chapter for a long time, figured I'd finally just post it.

Geoff ruffled Gavin’s hair as he tried to set up his camera. “C’mon, Geoff!” Gavin protested, batting his hand away. “I’m trying to be a professional.” 

“Because filming a laundry machine swirl clothes around in slow motion is such a professional endeavor,” Michael teased, perched on one of the dryers in the Laundromat.  


Gavin scrunched up his nose.

“I think it will look fantastic in slow-mo, B,” a dark haired young man with a British accent said. 

“Thank you, Dan,” Gavin said smiling the huge cheeky smile that made Michael want to smack him. 

Dan sat on the dryer next to Michael and grinned at him, leaning over slightly and nudging him with his shoulder.

Michael shot him a look. “What?” Michael never got his ability to read anyone else’s mind back. He was forever stuck inside his and Gavin’s brains. But it didn’t bother him too much, at least not after he got used to it. He never understood why there was such a sudden shift, he never understood why he could only read Gavin’s brain.

Dan shrugged, rolling his shoulders, looking back at Gavin who furrowed his eyebrows while he set up the camera. “Thanks, I guess.”

“For what?” Michael asked.

“Gavin’s so much happier here,” Dan said. “I loved him like a brother, like how Ray loves you, but I couldn’t get through to him like you could. Of course , I assume it’s because you can read his mind, but anyway…” Dan smirked, glancing at Michael who looked so genuinely happy to be hearing this. “I guess what I mean is, if it weren’t for you and Ray and Geoff, he wouldn’t have the opportunities he’s got now. And I wouldn’t be here either, sitting on a dryer, helping Gavin film slow-mo laundry. So thanks.”

Michael felt his face reddening. “Well, thanks for letting me keep him.” 

“I couldn’t have kept him away from you guys if I tried.” Dan hopped off the dryer and walked over to Gavin and murmured to him about the camera.

Michael listened in contentedly to Gavin’s thoughts, something about the frames per second or the brightness of the fluorescent lights overhead or how much more they had to film before Dan returned to England.

Maybe Michael could guess why he could only read Gavin’s thoughts now. Maybe it was because he finally found one person’s thoughts that he wanted to read. Maybe it was because Gavin’s thoughts were the most important. Maybe the answer ever since he was a little kid was love. But that sounded cheesy as hell to Michael, so he wouldn’t believe that to be true, even if he liked that answer the best.


End file.
